After the Rain

 

We lost the baby.

Melinda started cramping and bleeding heavily last Friday morning, so we both left work and spent the day at home with each other. It was a rough one. We rarely left the bed, and we spent a lot of time in prayer…petitioning God to let us keep the baby. God had a better plan for the life that was in Melinda's belly, though, and we praise him for that.

I was a hard sell, though. I figured the negative pregnancy test on Friday afternoon was due to a diluted sample; we would try again Saturday morning when Melinda's HCG levels would be higher. Even after the second test came back negative, I held onto hope. We won't know any definite answers until we see Melinda's doctor on Monday…I kept telling myself. I tried my best to keep the optimism within me, because I didn't want to reestablish Melinda's hopes only to have them dashed once again. Melinda was already there, but I finally accepted the facts when we received confirmation from the doctor and the blood test. We are no longer pregnant.

It's amazing how much you can love a sweet little embryo. We never saw our baby—never knew his or her name or gender—yet we loved that baby so much. Our baby is with Jesus now, and we're taking comfort in that. We may not know much about our baby, but the Lord knows our baby. He knows the baby's name, gender, eye color, etc. God saved our baby from all of the pain, strife, and suffering in this world…and his house is a little fuller. Praise God and amen. Someday we will meet you, baby, and I will hand you a letter that I wrote when me and Melinda found out that you existed.

Melinda and I can see God's beauty, and he is worthy to be praised. Through the weekend struggle, God brought me and my wife to our knees in intimate fellowship with him. Had we not lost the baby, we wouldn't have been so close to God over the past few days. Praise his name. Had we not lost the baby, we wouldn't have been the beneficiaries of an outpouring of love from our Christian family. Thank you all for your kind words, your sincere thoughts, and your selfless prayers. If we truly live out the things that we claim to believe, then we should rejoice because our baby is in the best place he or she could ever be. Glory.

Our God is good. He is just and he is love. Our God heals and restores.

Melinda and I are excited for Baby Babb #2. We hope #2 will be with us in the coming weeks.